Help! I'm new from Kent

The best way is to stay friends with him and just see how things go. If its meant to be it will work out. Where abouts in kent are you from? x x

Hi Emi You should keep him as a friend if you think you can without getting further involved. Just enjoy things you have in common and his company. If you did get with him while he has a girlfriend would you ever be able to trust him? I know i wouldn't. There will be a single man come along when the time is right. Linda x

hi, lingem, thank you for your comment. yes, we had possiblly intimate moment, but i thought i won't jump on to him unless i know he's free. as i was hurt before, i have high moral standard. and doing right things hopefully reward me when time is right. i'm not really in his circle of friends that not knowing what he is up to keeping me away from harm. all predictions, tarot reading ( i can do a bit for myself) says positive. fancying him gives me hope and, even if this take long time i feel it's good to love (unconditionally )and wish for best for everyone concerned is better than not.

Hiya, Im rachel, leo, also new to the forum :-) I agree that you should keep him as a friend. Although yourself being a capricorn, am i right in saying that your deeply interseted in love itself and are very loyal when it comes to love? Love is your sorce of inspiration? If this is true, then it may be hard to say to you "time will tell" ? This situation is difficult and if its ment to be then it will happen :-) rach x

hi, Rachel It's lovely that you've picked up what love means to me. Since I was hurt by my ex and then had a fling (in his term), I've been extra causious about jumping into relationship. When I love a man, I give all of myself. I don't believe in casual sxx or games, flirting. So I think that even I've been on my own for such along time, I will save myself from unworthy men. I feel that this guy would give me tremendous opportunity and confidence that I can do anything. He plans to explore the jungle in south america to search rare plants soon, I'd go anywhere if he allows me. I've good nose, and often find things people miss. We are both independent, but we could help each other to grow and complete. Hope Rach enjoy the forum as well, Big floral hug

It sounds like you can see a lot of potential for you and this man, and I really hope that things work out for you as you are overdue some happiness!  It also seems that although things are complicated, you are enjoying even the idea and possibility of a relationship with him, so I can imagine that he fills your thoughts right now. However, I would just suggest that until he tells you that he is free and wants to be with you, please try to be open to other possibilities rather than closing yourself off completely, just so that you don't miss out on any other possible chances of love and happiness.

Take care and welcome to the forum

Love Kirsty xx

Hi Emi, I too have just joined spirit and destiny, Love and Friendship are so close, I agree with Kirsty, you need to wait until he says that he is free as we all have been there and had our thoughts for one guy and possibly missed the other opportunities out there. If he is the one then time will tell but don't put your life on hold for him. All the best Wendy X

hi emi i think if you were meant to be together then it will happen, no matter what. i agree with wendy's comment though about not putting your life on hold. i know its really hard cos i am the same, its all or nothing and when you really fall for someone its hard to make yourself get on with things but sometimes things happen when you least expect them. best advice - just stay postive! alison xx

Hi, Thank you so much to Kirsty, Wendy, and Alison my three graces, Do you suggest I just sit and wait? Ah, it's agony! I'm desperate to tell him I like him and then leave him to decide but, I'm also scared if he tells me not to think of him this way...He's Aries and I'm Capricorn (not that great match i know), previous relationship problems made me very timid that eve... I've been so destructed lately, I can't do anything! I begun to worry about my course work now that I only got two weeks to complete my planting design assignment. I can't fail to finish the course cos I need to get onto landscape design course next year. I think taking up gardening put us closer, and made me compatible to him. We were calling each other mad and nuts about plants other day! I went to spiritualist church last eve, later I sung hymns I learned at mission school. I used to thought why my parents sent me there, as we are Buddhists for generations.. Now that I felt it prepared me to be with a proper christian. It is full moon tommorow, sent my thought to Moon goddess, and my ancesters. I haven't met anybody for a long time, and I won't dismiss other offer, but there's none! serious. Keeping option open though, hey if Big Man up there says?, save myself for Mr. Right, I will. I hope you three are happy and following your paths, and i'd be there for you if you'd like to share things with me... from moonlit garden, Emiko xxx

Hi Emi

You know when you were singing hymns at the Spiritualist Church on Sunday night, up in Leeds Fiona, Janet, Pat and I were doing the same thing!  Although you have the advantage over me in knowing them!  I didn't know any of them and just had to sort of mumble the words to myself lol!

I can totally understand how comsumed you are by these feelings and the frustration of not saying or doing anything about them!!  I had a similar thing, many years ago - spookily with an Arien too (not that great a match for Piscean me either!)  It was a guy I worked with, and the moment I saw him, I wanted to be with him - he filled my thoughts for weeks, and made work each day a painful pleasure!  Just as I'd finally given up hope, we got together!!  We had a really intense relationship for a few years, and when we split up (my decision) it took me over a year to get over him.  I can see now that he wasn't actually as right for me as I wanted him to be, if that makes sense.  And now, I'm with ANOTHER Arien - but this time I like to think I've found the right one lol!!  I'm not trying to say this man is wrong for you Emi, just that I know how it feels to be close to someone every day and having to sit on such powerful feelings!  I really hope it turns out that he's your perfect soul-mate and realises he needs to be with you!

Please try to overcome your hopes about this man for long enough to get your course work done though!!  It sounds like you love the work you're doing and it would be such a shame to spoil your chance to move onto your landscape design course!  I can imagine you being totally in tune with the plants you work with.  Do you use Moon phases when working with your gardens?

I'll think of you tomorrow when I'm wishing on the full Moon too Emi!

Love Kirsty xx

Hi there Emi,

Totally agree with advice Kirsty and the other girls have given you regarding this man.  I just wanted to say that I'm thinking about you and will ask for help for you while you are trying to finish your course (if that's OK with you?)   You owe it to yourself, Emi, to complete your course.  You obviously have such a strong affinity with nature and what you're doing by choosing to work with nature is a lovely way of expressing yourself spiritually too.  When all else fails us, nature's always there to provide some comfort for us, whether  through beautiful plants and flowers, or love we get from animals.  That kind of love stays with us no matter what.  I know it's really hard but instead of letting your feelings for this man distract you, please try and throw everything you've got into finishing your course.  You deserve to succeed in this venture.  Just think of the beauty you'll ultimately be able to give others through using your new garden design skills.      

Love Pat xx 

Thank you so much, girls for thinking about me. I'm humble to accept all your lovely thoughts and feeling stronger to continue with my homework. I went to receive healing at Spiritualist Church, had good pray, cry, and healer lifted my spirits up this evening. I got only 9days to do the project, and I really want to finish my course with good mark. I took up gardening when I felt lonely when, even i was married. it's been good therapy that plants need me to care for them. my cat adopted me after i lost my job and marriage, if she didn't move in with me, i might've killed myself. since we moved we have a garden, i have my own foxes, too! mrs.fox used to worship me as i gave them leftovers. it's lovely to be able to communicate with all these liveing in my garden that i'm in tune with mother nature. i do follow moon phases for my garden and any plans i have, as i was told that goddess of water Hydra, and dragon ( believed to live in water - river etc. in East) are my guardians. I want to make realise gardens as sanctuary, healing space, just a beatiful place people can use, and dream like if when people let me! I am a dreamer, as I started drawing at 2 yeras old, I'm still searching right output for my imagination to become reality, that's my service. I appreciate all messages here with gratitude, and tahnk you again to send me your thoughts and support!! red maple leaves falling to your ways....xxx Emiko

Hi Emiko,

Just been reading all the girls postings and their advice as always is really sound.

I wondered if you would like me to send you some reiki to help focus on your course.  As Pat says, you don't want to miss out on getting with your ambitions and you do sound so at ease with nature that I'm sure gardening is your true forte.

In love & light,

Janet

x

Hope you feel focussed on your course work again - it sounds like you have such a natural affinity with your plants and garden I'm sure you'll do a great job! 

Love Kirsty xx

You are a beautiful dreamer and I'm sure you'll make all your dreams come true?  I hope one day I will get to see your sanctuary garden and healing spaces.  The world needs more people to create those sort of places for us all to find peace and solace in. 

Good luck with your studies.

Bless you

Love Pat xx 

Hi, Janet, Much appreciated of your offer of Reiki! I'm so touched that many ladies are so kind to me here. Reiki was developed by a Japanese lecturer from Kyoto, where I also come from. Doushisha Uni. is also mission school, like my old school, Heian, St.Agnes. Today I felt much better and started my homework. It's the last design, with sun loving plants in gravel. I can use some exotics like hardy palms. It's long way for me to do a public space but, healing and learning gardens are in demand. And, any back garden could be an oasis for us souls. Thank you also to Kirsty and Pat, I need to help myself before helping others, so I was told by the healer yesterday. Have you had any message or had private reading? It's very interesting and amazing experiences having messages from passed relatives! Other medium told me that I have gift of healing but felt that it was too early for me. I did learn Crystal Healing for self healing technique at adult school. London offer lots of interesting courses, maybe best in the world!? My old art school in Kyoto has to close cos there's no young people! wonder why don't they teach adult?! when you are 18, many people study more 'safe' subjects at uni/collges, and older people want to learn painting etc. when they have security or retired. I had 'passion' for drawing(all things artistic) from such young age, made me seem 'odd' to the majority but, I knew 'myself'. I hope everyone nurture your little 'self'or inner child, or goddess!!! it's never too late! dews on flowers, Emi

Hi Emi,

Fancy that you come from Kyoto like Dr Usui!  I will gladly send you some reiki.  It sounds like you have a very artistic nature and that will be very beneficial with your gardening.  My reiki master had a japanese garden at his old house and it was lovely - so peaceful, a great place to meditate...

In love & light,

Janet

 

 

I think you're right Emi that people should have the opportunity to develop their creativity at any age!  In answer to your question, I have had individual readings in the past, and was also lucky enough to get 2 messages last week at the Spiritualist Church - I was very moved by the one from my babies in spirit!!  There is something very reassuring about knowing those you've loved an lost are still so close by you.

Love Kirsty xx

I 'm so happy to recieve your messages. art and design training goes long way, helps visualisation, memory and having visions in meditation.. but often out of tune! I lost a baby also, and years later a medium told me about him, that there's no pain. I still wonder if I kept it, but no way i could. last year,I was told by a medium that my grandma says I'm going to have a baby girl in few years time??? she was so confident, but i don't even have a boyfriend( still now!!). though it made me bit happier, who knows? oh, I miss Kyoto, my primary school transformed into art centre, imperial palace gardens... it's 150th years since japan joined free trade with uk, check www.japanuk150.org for japanese related events. i went to tea ceremony, japanese jamboree.. yum moon with halo emi xxx

Hi Kirsty

You give out lots of sound and loving responses to the people on this site. Reguarding your message received from one of your babies in spirit - I am send you tons of hugs xxxxxx

Janet

It made me happy and weepy at the same time, if you know what I mean!! 

Love Kirsty xx

Dear All I hope this finds you in great peace - I've just read this thread and got "up-to-date" with what's going on: What is it about Aries men?! I thought I found the love of my life (an Aries) and it turned out to be terribly sad when after 2 years of flirting and getting to know each other (through work) and then I finally succumbed to his charms in a moment of weakness, and then it was over and I just could NOT get him out of my head - I'm not an obsessive person, trust me, but this guy even NOW can sneak into my mind and I'll feel all stupid and girly about him (not that I ever showed him my weakness as I know Aries don't like overly emotive gestures; being a Libra girl, you can imagine how difficult that was for me!) Anyway - I'm happily married to a wonderful Cancer man, but my Aries ex-lover still has a place in my heart (I wish I could change that, but I guess it's the way I'm created). Emi - I hope you are happier now you've had all this good advice from Kirsty M and everybody: they all make so much sense. This is really a message from me to say: you are not alone! Sending you all loving wishes, Be at peace, Rowena xx

ah, you two are lovely. more hugs and good wish! and look more people are joining x I felt quite absobed at class today, water plants and ferns. my tutor trusts in my talent, so he always encourage me well. we got only a month till it'll finish! try slowly, but surely. thanks for your support. Regent's Park looking autumnal, Emi

it's painful when someone toy with your feelings! Aries men can be difficult i guess. i had fling with Libra guy, tipping this way and that. he had unhappy relationship when we met, promised to break up and didn't. later, he did and came back to me, had one night stand with me and never came back! what a waste. Unfortunately, I haven't seen or heard from this Aries guy at the mo. I know he's very busy with work and, I try to think of unconditional love. it's been difficult, not telling my true feelings. i respect he has girlfriend, but i'm still thinking how i really feel about him. We have free will and freedom, why can't i tell him? I was scared of rejection, but if i don't tell, i don't give him chance to question his relationship/option either. Now that I got my course to finish, so i better not to upset myself for a while. my tutor trusts my talents/fees paid by grant so i don't mess up my plan. I got a book, Reincarnation; true stories of past lives by Roy Stemman yesterday. very interesting. there was the story of an English woman in Egyptology, once lived as an ancient Egyptian priestess. She had to find her ture home and lover after few thousand years! I read Past Lives, Future Healing by Sylvia Browne recently, and I'm thinking about having regression therapy. fee may be prob to me, but it may help ease depression. and the same time i'd have more insight into my possible past life in uk, and... This Aries guy can be my soulmate. the course of true love is never easy? I won't give up without fight. My late dad and my younger bro are Cancer. bro is so shy, being alone most his life makes me worry. mum's Libra and very faithful ( most japanese ladies are), but she has kidney failure (correct?)and may not live so long. she's coping well though, wonder what how my bro does when she's gone. i'm hoping to see them this winter. I'm happy to hear you have lovely hubby of yours, i wish you're together always. we can't change our past but need to go through and learn. everything happens for a reason. had lovely time at class today, water plants and ferns (give you invisibility on midsummer's eve), Emi x

...thank you for your lovely message - you're so correct: the course of true love is NEVER easy. But you are a strong person and I know you will get through this. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's health problems: will she have treatment for her kidney failure? I'm sending her healing thoughts and wishes... Past life regression sounds amazing - I had a an audio book (well, a book and a CD) about it and tried it, but I don't know if I did it right! I'll try again sometime and see what happens! I hope your life path leads you to happier times for your heart. Good luck with your Aries man, I hope he is worthy of you. With peaceful blessings, Rowena xx

hi, thank you for your concern for my mum and me, she's having kidney dialesis (sorry, spelling's not my strong points) 3times a week. but she's coping very well. i told her i could give her one of mine, but she declined. she's retired and her desire for life has deminished to her ability so she doesn't miss much. hope she's ok as long as possible. i read how to self-hypnotise for past life regression or healing but i didin't get it right either. you could try again, and have some experience!? About the Arien guy, i'd ask my aunty-like gardening friend for advice, as she knows him too. i'm sure he's worth all the struggle, nudge and gentle poking. i had productive day, drawing planting design today. last 4days to go!though, missed church, so tuesday i will make it for private reading and healing by medium. love, Emiko xxx

Hi Emiko... how are you feeling today? I'm really sorry to hear your mother is suffering like this: I wish I had a magic wand to make everything better for her - and for you. I hope your Arien Man sees the effort you're putting in to win his heart - may your strength and determination carry you through. I hope you have another happy, productive day. Thinking of you. Love, Rowena xxx

I'm always touched by the ladies here. thank you so much for your kind thoughts for me. mum used to work so hard for my dad's restaurant, but now at least she's having retirement. i think balance is key, that i'm also all work, no fun type at the mo. i had a rpoductive day, today, doing my design homework. i'm having private reading with a medium and healing at spirit church tommorrow. hoping to hear from my past relatives.. healing on last tuesday stopped me crying. i had to cry for romantic dilemma, not depression made me feel better than that. do you think that praying to god would help my thoughts for him? i wish so.. i can't ask wishes if it hurts somebody, but i had lovely time praying last night. Rowena, i hope you are happy and bless you for more. Big floral hug, love, Emiko xxx

...how are you today, my friend?

 

I know what you mean about 'all work and no fun' - I was like that for YEARS and people (work colleagues) treated me really badly and there was always a negative vibe around me: I know now that my low self-esteem and my unhappy home life (before I got married) was the root cause. So I firmly believe things can/do change.

 

I'm glad you found that crying made you feel better. I always think that it's better to release the internal negative energy than to keep it locked inside you.

 

 

As for praying to God - well, I personally don't advocate doing anything you don't want to do or feel uncomfortable with, so really that is entirely your decision Emi. I pray to the Angels of 100% Pure Light - I find them very loving, giving and always attentive.

 

I hope you have a truly wonderful day... be at peace... Rowena xx 

Hi! Are the Angels of 100% Pure Light different to others? Sorry - new to this! Lyn xx

Hope this finds you well?

 

I was advised by a clair-sentient Medium to always call out to the Angels of 100% Pure Light as I will be guaranteed assistance from Angels who only want to do good (I never actually asked him your very valid question ie: are they different to others) - but I've found since doing as he recommended only positive/good comes from my requests/prayers to them!

 

Perhaps our friends on here might be able to shed some (pardon the pun) light and provide an insight into the difference between those of 100% Pure Light and others...?!

 

Sending you peaceful blessings, Rowena xx

Are you ok?? You're very quiet today...?? Worried about you: please write soon... Love Rowena xx

I was very busy to finish my project by today, and i handed in design ok. thank you for your concern. i went to spiritualist church tue, had healing and reading. i heard from grandma that i will meet someone more suited in april, will have happy relationship and child... that's sound lovely. but i've been feeling can't it be now? or any ealier? i still feel much for the guy, though she told me that he's not be the one. i may have some fun though... tommorrow is our horticultural society's show and while back, he said he'd come but can't make it. so boring... maybe i'd see him on wed, and tell how i feel, and if not going well, i might have to let go...? have to go to bed now, didn't have sleep for 2days! (homework) love, emiko

I'm glad you got your project finished.  Hope you get good marks for all your hard work!  Sorry you didn't get the message you were hoping for about your Aries guy xx.  Will keep my fingers crossed that you get to live happily and loved up ever after very soon!

Love Kirsty xx

hi Emiko Welcome to the forum, there are some lovely people on here who will do their best to help (including me I hope!) I have just read all the wonderful advice and supportive ideas that have been posted for you when something suddenly struck me. Please check out the 'try again candle magic' thread where I posted a message for Linda with a candle spell to help draw love to you, it may well help you. I know how frustrated you must be feeling with this Aries guy but as my eldest son is an Aries I can see the other side of the coin, they can be very childlike as Aries is the 'youngest' of the signs, the other thing I've noticed is that Aries men can be so self-absorbed that they don't see what's going on under their very nose!!! I'm so glad you finished your course as this is so important. I hope you get good results. I too am passionate about gardening and plants, and it has taught me patience with myself and others, as you know a seed will not germinate if the conditions aren't right so maybe it's the same for you on a romantic level just now. Whatever happens emiko I have a strong feeling that you will find the love of your life very soon, whether it's the Aries guy or not. Good luck with everything and let us all know how you get on...Lol Monica xxx

Thank you for your message, I like your name dragon, as i was told my totem is dragon and i see that my willow is chinese gragon's claw tree. going out to my garden comfort me, but as Aries guy's into gardening as well, so at the moment i feel everything reminds of him.. ah, falling leaves. we had our flower show yesterday, before that for two days i had to stay up to finish project i was so tired. people snapped at me as i couldn't wake up early enough to volunteer. but i suffer from fatigue due to depression, that my health and study come first. they weren't bother knowing about my situation, so i felt i might resign there and then. the Aries guy said he'd come but he had to work. i went to spiritualist church today, felt cosy. i've been reading about reincarnation, karma, soulmates and past life regression, trying to find an answer to my problems and patterns. Do you think if i'm still married on paper, even i haven't seen my separated Aries husband for ten years, makes me committing adultery in eye of spiritual law? cosmic ordering says, we must get lid of ex first,for new one to come into our life... so i'd get divorce soon. i was so stressed to do anything with him in case he finds where i live, or indeed still alive or not. hard drugs destroyed him, and us. Addiction, OCD, split personalities are signs of past life trauma, and i also have fatigue, weight prob, chronic illness indicates that. i hope to have past life regression therapy sometime that i could heal my karma. i'm going to see the Aries guy on Wed, and i'd try to tell him that i like him. he may well turn me down for sure, but i have to be true to my feelings and i'm not expecting anything in return. it's very hard but, being one-sided killing me. i'm free spirit and to give unconditional love (or uncomventional?)suit me rather than shut up and eating me up. i'm feeling moral code choking me now that i feel 'old and stuffy' and not really me. i'm passionate and rarely love, but dig deep. maybe i will crash and burn again, though knowing that ladies here would help me cope reassuring. i must make my own mistakes and see what happens. thank you all for your support. silly Emiko

I have been thinking long and hard about your situation. I have an idea that you could try as I feel it will really help.

I want you to get yourself a pink candle and some pink and silver ribbon ( or thread), a sheet of parchment or pink notepaper and some silver scissors . The spell I am describing to you is to release your ex as I feel you are still connected-and not in a good way! It is important that you perform this ritual with love and forgiveness in your heart.

First light the candle on a friday ( linked to venus goddess of love) and write a letter to your ex telling him that you forgive and release him, (hold the ribbon or threads while you are writing your letter.) When you have finished the letter drip some wax from the candle to seal it and fold it as small as you can. Next take a pair of silver scissors and cut the ribbon or threads while saying out loud or in your mind to ( name of your ex ) that you release him with love and forgiveness. If you live near flowing water I want you to take the letter and cast it onto a flowing river or out to sea if you live on the coast. As you let it go imagine letting go of the bonds that tie you to him. If you don't live near water you can burn the letter to 'send' it. If you go for the burning option then take the ashes and the cut ribbon or threads and bury them in your garden to 'ground' your wishes.

Good Luck and I hope you find this helps. On a more practical level it would be good to go down the legal route and apply for a divorce, if you were married here you can get free advice from the citizens advice bureau. This will release you on all levels and allow space for new positive experiences and people to come into your life.

Let me know how you get on Emi.  With love Monica xxx 

P.s My Chinese sign is dragon ( wood element)

Sweetheart, it sounds like you have such a lot going on just now, I think you are very wise to look after yourself and conserve your energy.  Obviously you had to put in extra hours recently to finish your coursework as that's so important, but now that's done, I think you should take it nice and easy.  And DON'T feel guilted by other people into doing stuff you're not able to!!  Just say NO!!

I think Monica's idea of letting go of your ex is a good one, and I think clearing out the baggage you still carry from the past - however remotely - is a healthy thing to do.  I don't think the fact you're still married should stop you looking for new happiness elsewhere, but  releasing that link definitely won't hurt!!  I'm glad you're getting healing at the church, but I've also posted a spell on here somewhere about boosting your health and well-being if you want to try that too. 

I think the more you feel you are resolving your outstanding issues, the more ready you will feel to move forward.  Put yourself and your needs first Emi - you're worth it lol!!

Take care

Love Kirsty xx

...how are you my friend - sorry I've not been in touch for the past few days: lots going on here. Anyway - it seems you are in good hands and Monica's advice above is very sound: I hope it works for you ... Be at peace... love Rowena xxx

Hi Emiko,

I think Kirsty is totally right, I am so pleased you have been able to do everything on your course that you needed to.  Now is some time for you!  It is so easy for us all to get drawn into the rush of modern life but it isn't always helpful.  Stay calm, breath deeply and look inside.  Think of what would truly make you happy - you may be surprised that your higher self gives you answers you don't expect - listen to that calm inner voice as the noisy ego often has too big a part to play in our lives and will divert you from your true course.

I will continue to send healing.

In love & light,

Janet

x

 

 

i will try all that suggested, with rituals and divorce.  i feel i'm supported by you ladies and ready to move on further. i got only few weeks to finish all my course work and need to be focused.

i went to a gardening lecture by the Aries guy yesterday, and had fun. the garden owner/nursery man where it held showed him and me there and it was bit like a mini plant expedition. he gave me lift on the way back, asked " what are you doing here" in a friendly way. i asked myself the same later, but i joked that"i'm your No.1 fan" and he liked it. I guess I wanted to see him and have fan with him, and be his friend. so i realised that he doesn't get that i am interested in him romantic way, nor he never came onto to me, or turned me down. silly me. he's honorable and respectable. and i was bit satisfied that although he was going on about his beloved inspirational granny, who had birthday and other family member, he never mentioned about his girlfriend.  i told him i get depressed sometimes, and he said me to keep going, without any prejudice. that was reassuring. i think that when he shares his experience of being kidnapped by guelliras in no man's land while looking for rare plants is painful to hear. though not many people have such traumatic experiences survive and recover so well that make me admire him, and relate to my own. i feel that i'd go anywhere he wants, even in Borivian jungle he's planning. he laughs that no man wants to come with him on his plant expeditions and had to pay! i might just offer my company, as i've good nose for any 'hunting'. as Aries, he can be self-absobed and not see what's there ( like me! aren't i this tender exotic vision of flower ready to be picked ???)  he's so into plants and his ambitious plans, and i feel i can dream with him. and if someone doesn't like much plants, will be boring i think. we are minions of plants, you see. they make us take care of them, even they don't talk or doing nothing much. i feel they keep me. like cats do. i was bit tearful today, maybe i thought that when can i see him again. but i can write to him and offer my friendship and fellow plantsmanship. we believe in sharing in horticulture, and so our lives can be.

Sages and Eucaly, aromas and silver leaves to all,

love, Emi

   

Dear Emi I've only just read your last message: how are you feeling today?? Has your course finished now? My thoughts have been with you and I'm sorry I was not in touch sooner: I've been getting everything sorted out before my operation tomorrow. I'll be off line for a while, but I will return when I am recovered enough to sit at a PC and look for your reply. In the meantime, please take care - and don't worry - everything WILL be alright. Sending you peaceful blessings and love, Rowena xx

long time no see here, Rowena.

what is the operation for? i hope it will go alright, and by the time you come back hope i'm feeling better, too.

i was feeling bit abundoned here to be honest, that everyone was bored or amazed with me/my stupidity.

i'm so grad you remembered me. thanks!

my course finishes on fri. 28th, with visit to a garden. i got few more homework to do, with extention, so i can manage that.

i got problems with my passport/s so i seem stuck here! i was made british citizen eight years ago, but my ten-year japanese passport was valid. then i went to embassy to renew it, told i need to show letter from home office that i'm not a british. on web site, japanese cannot have dual passport, so i have been negrecting to tell them otherwise. my citizenship paper bear my ex's name and i don't want to make british passport with that! so i wrote to them what they can do for me, as i haven't divorced yet. but will talk to solicitor soon. i'd like to visit japan in spring.

the gardening guy is in grand canaria and borivia for plant hunting.

i saw him on his talk day before departure.
i realised that i really want to be his friend because he was a vicitm of serious crime like i was. he and a friend spent nine months being kidnapped by guelliras in south america few years back. his garden plan kept his sanity, wrote books and give talk nowadays. i'm hoping i could share my experience with him once i get more close to him, but he's so busy.
i think friendship take time to develop and shouldn't expect much soon. but we don't come across with others like this.

i'm having healing at spiritualist church as much as i can. i'm dreading christmas alone. better talk to my friends.

thank you again, Rowena. I will keep battling, and look forward to hearing from you when you recovered. take good care,

love,
Emi xxx

I don't think Rowena will be back on for a while, as she'll need time to get over her op, but I'm sure she'll be glad you've come back on here again.  It's nice to see you back!  I've been wondering how you were doing too!

Good luck with the rest of your course - sounds like you're nearly there now xx.  I hope you get your passport and stuff sorted out too.  It sounds like you've been through such a lot Emi, I think you're very brave - and I hope you find your gardening therapeutic.  Fingers crossed the healing will help you, but have you had counselling as well?  That might help you work your way through everything that's happened too?  Take care sweetheart  xx

Maybe you are right that the man you like is meant to be a friend for you.  I hope you get the chance to talk about your experiences together - it sounds like he's been through a hell of a lot too!  But even if you don't, you know that someone else has been through a nightmare situation and come out the other side - got a relationship, found strength through his gardening work - and you can do that too.  And you won't be entirely alone at Christmas - I'm sure quite a few of us will be nipping on here whenever we can to keep our sanity!

Love Kirsty xx

PS - did you see that some of the Kent ladies are thinking of meeting up? Check the recent threads!

Hey It's really good to have you back Emi. I guess you are busy finishing your course work. Well good luck with that and everything else. Please don't worry about Christmas as we will all be thinking of you and sending big hugs out to you, you are not alone! Japan in the spring sounds lovely. I really love Andy Goldsworthy's work and I know that he did quite a lot of work in Japan with natural materials, leaves, water, flowers etc. He is a truly inspiring Artist. Do you know his work? I'm sure he will be on the internet somewhere! Anyway take good care,stay warm and travel safe. Lol Monica xxx

Sorry to hear you're feeling depressed and having all those problems sorting out your passport. As you can see, we have been thinking about you. I thought you must have been busy finishing off your course. Hope you do manage to finish it off in time. As Kirsty says, even on Xmas Day someone will always be on here to chat to you. Take care Love and Healing to you Pat xxx

Monica - I love Andy Goldsworthy's work.  Emi, I think you'd like it too - google him if you've not come across him before!

Love Kirsty xx

hi, ladies, nice to hear from you all again.

to be honest, i was feeling bit left out as i haven't had reply for a while since i last posted.

i put Rowena's name on (distant)healing book at s.church this eve, it's been helping me.

yes, i have had couselling, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy for many years, soul retreaval healing, crystal healing, meditation, yoga, cd, books like 'you can heal your life' Loise L.Hay etc, etc but it's been difficult. Talking doesn't seem to help me, as it revive the past and bad memories etched in my mind. I'm like a broken record repeating but it never goes away.
i had to put my own husband in jail. maybe i haven't addressed my guilt or released my anger that has no right or target going inwards.
I just simply don't have any support at hand. even my family aren't sympathetic with me. I'm sick of trying to help myself and having no one at home. I'd get in touch with Domestic violence and Rape support before getting divorce soon. These crime still attatched with stigma and shame I'm so scared of people judge me.ah, sounds so negative! better go.

Hi Emi Glad to see I'm not the only one up with the lark! Please don't feel that you have anyone judging you for acting the way you have in respect to your husband.First can I please assure you that you are not on your own where being a survivor of abuse is concerned. It is really important that you don't feel any guilt/blame for what has happened. I really do believe that there are certain individuals out there (both male and female) who are like emotional vampires and because they are lacking in any spiritual integrity feel it's o.k to hurt others. THIS IS NOT O.K !!! You have the right to be treated with the same kindness and warmth that you give to others. Just keep saying to yourself 'no more subjugation'. My heart goes out to you Emi. May light and happiness surround you while your healing. Take care sweetheart. Lol Monica xxx

Hi Emi Just to let you know that I have lit a healing candle for you and our lovely Row ( Runa ). Lol Monica xxx